As a queer person who lands on the rainbow spectrum in one of the non-gay stripes, I may have both an atypical number of queer people in my social circle and a less normative understanding of whose lifestyles are relatable. Gay people’s lives are more relevant to mine than straight people’s in many ways, and it seems pretty natural for me to just choose to make the story about a gay person if there’s no reason I have to make it about a straight person. My defaults aren’t what mainstream society expects them to be.
When people question “but why are they gay tho,” I have to ask “why do you need a reason for them to be gay?” and also “why do you think ‘gay’ is not a neutral choice but ‘straight’ is?” Frustrations over queer people’s inclusion “where it doesn’t need to be” translates easily in my head to “there are two sexual orientations: straight and ‘political.'”