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Do you know how long it’s been since I finished writing a novel? DO YOU?

I’m not going to say because IT’S EMBARRASSING.

And now I literally have to cut half the words out of this thing to really even have a chance at sending it anywhere.

Let the games begin.

(After ice cream.)

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You mean I could actually wrap the book up when my character’s major arc is over?

I don’t have to, like, revolutionize her culture, give her a happily ever after, make peace between two alien species, and solve homophobia?

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Different strategies work for different people, but dang, I don’t relate at all when people actually find lots of social interaction helpful in terms of motivation!

I’ve had people tell me it helps so much to have other people engaged in their work and rooting for them to finish so they can read the new chapters hot off the presses. I’ve had people tell me how helpful it is to be around other writers to keep them excited about working on their project. I’ve had people tell me that social interaction infuses them with they energy to get through the long stretches of solitary creating, and that connecting with others is a breath of fresh air.

And I’m the exact opposite.

I’ll participate in a social writing activity if I’m truly going to learn something (or, you know, help somebody else!), but I really like being all by myself, butt in chair, working on the WIP, no interruptions.

We’re all different! That’s for sure!

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To be clear, I do NOT think that every kind of coach must have direct successful personal experience with the subject they’re coaching; it’s just the nature of some professions that certain lessons CAN be taught (and successfully followed by students) without the teacher having personal experience. I can teach you about different kinds of coffee beans without having personally harvested them where they grow, for instance. But if you’re trying to teach people how to do something and what you’re doing DIDN’T work for you? Reconsider.

I once knew two young women who were excited to go on a surfing trip with their boyfriends, but they had literally never surfed before. After their boyfriends taught them some basics and then, ya know, went off together to do real surfing, the girls began filming each other demonstrating how to surf and giving pointers that had probably been given to them a few hours ago–demonstrating the basics incorrectly, getting details wrong, and basically looking ridiculous but trying to sound like they had any authority to teach others how to surf. It had the feel of a toddler in a play kitchen explaining in baby babble how to fix a sandwich. They posted their video proudly on one of their YouTube channels. The comments filled up with people saying what was wrong with their advice or warning people not to take advice from them. They eventually deleted the video.

You should not learn how to do things you care about from people who don’t know how to do it. At best it just will not work. At worst it will teach you bad habits.

Furthermore, some people who have no experience or credentials are out there to intentionally scam you. People posing as editors, writing coaches, and especially publishers and agents will sometimes draw in victims by pretending to have expertise and offering advice, then separating you from your money. You should want to know the background of people who give you advice in a professional capacity, and especially if they create materials or provide coaching that you have to pay for, it isn’t wrong for you to expect them to have either proven insider knowledge or personal success on the subject. They’re most likely not going to tell you straight up that they don’t have the experience the way the conversation went in this comic, either, so beware.

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I’ve had this sort of thing happen and of course it’s annoying. One time I pitched an agent with my nonfiction concept and mentioned that the proposal was available. He responded by displaying weird ignorance about the subject matter (about which I am an expert), presumed to educate me about it (by informing me that it wouldn’t make sense to try to sell an asexuality book in the queer section because IF asexual people even exist they certainly don’t think of themselves as queer), and explaining to me that if I want anyone to look at it I would need to write a proposal (and here are some helpful resources to teach you how, ya n00b). I did write this guy back and inform him that asexuality wasn’t some weird thing I made up; that communities and studies existed (including multiple of both that indicated asexual people are queer); and that I had mentioned the proposal was both written and available. But I didn’t tell this guy those things because I expected to work with him. If he had offered after that, I would not have accepted. Who wants to work with someone who ignores half the things you say in a relationship that’s ABOUT communication?

But just like you can’t call the human resources department of the job you were rejected for and explain to them how you are in fact the most qualified, talking back to an agent who said no is going to do three things:

1. Annoy the agent, who will either ignore you or put you on a list of people to never work with;
2. Place the blame for the miscommunication on the agent, which even if you are right and they read carelessly, will not result in a positive relationship with that agent if you somehow were to work together;
3. Not result in getting another chance. It will not work.

Take a publishing industry professional’s possibly inappropriate rejection as an opportunity to make your pitch materials clearer. And if it was 100% on them and you literally did not say the thing they insist you said . . . again, they’re proving you don’t want to work with them. Their whole JOB is reviewing these kinds of materials. If they can’t be arsed to read yours properly, you’ve learned that they approach these things carelessly or in a cursory manner. And while everyone makes mistakes, your work deserves proper respect and attention.

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I mean I had other plans for that Sunday but sometimes I don’t have much of a choice. . . .

(Also, it’s probably bad luck to act like I’m upset about it. . . . )

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Don’t beat yourself up if Massive Life Events get in the way of your creative activities ;]

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Another long one for #160! And no, you don’t have to become an expert on everything your characters do, but especially if it’s an integral part of a protagonist’s story arc, at bare minimum you need to not make mistakes representing it. And you may want to say stuff like “OK, so what if my character is an exception?” For instance, what if one of your test readers says your police officer character wouldn’t do a certain thing because that’s not part of the protocol for the incident they’re responding to, and you want that character to break the usual rules and do it anyway? The answer there is you need nuance. You need someone to call it out or later acknowledge that the officer shouldn’t have done that or have the character’s inner monologue note that they’re ignoring protocol. You don’t want it to look like you just didn’t know how to write this.

Think about your own hobby or profession, and then think about the silly things you’ve seen in movies/TV or read in books about the way it’s represented. It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it, when these things are phoned in! But it’s not just about not wanting to get laughed at by experts. It’s about respecting your own work enough to represent an accurate picture of the character’s life. In researching these things, you may even find some insight that will help your story feel more authentic in general!

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Sometimes hanging out in “writing advice” circles, you see people claiming you have to come to your writing career the same way that worked for them. Some of them are immediately dismissive of anyone who thinks they can sell the first novel they wrote, even if they spent a lot of time and energy looking into how to write it and came up with something great. Some of them say playing around in fanfiction communities doesn’t teach you anything about originality or publishable writing, even though many people who enjoy that pastime have honed their talent and learned how to incorporate feedback better than those who only pursue original writing from the start. Some of them say you just KNOW you’re a writer because you’ve done it all your life and there’s no way you can start later in life because if you were a True Writer, the bug would have bitten you earlier. And some of them say if you’ve written a bunch of unsuccessful books you’ll probably just never get the knack and you should do something else. GUESS WHAT? Nobody’s got the formula that works for everyone, and there is room for all of us.

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Don’t you hate when you’re describing some project of yours and someone replies “Oh, so it’s influenced by [work you’ve never consumed], obviously, right?”

Ughhhhh. And it’s VERY POPULAR so nobody’s gonna believe you that you didn’t get the idea from them. . . .

Psst–you can still do it. If you didn’t actually rip off the thing, it won’t actually look like you’ve been influenced by it, and you’ll just have to change how you approach pitching. . . .  Pretending it just doesn’t exist isn’t a good idea, by the way.