{"id":456,"date":"2014-05-18T22:17:09","date_gmt":"2014-05-19T02:17:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/?p=456"},"modified":"2014-06-10T00:28:04","modified_gmt":"2014-06-10T04:28:04","slug":"not-flattering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/?p=456","title":{"rendered":"Not Flattering"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\"issue36\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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NO, THAT IS NOT AT ALL FLATTERING, YOU JERK.<\/p>\n

In case you’re wondering, yes, this is an ACTUAL MESSAGE I got (though the fellow’s name was not “Animal4U”). The full text:<\/p>\n

Him: <\/strong>I’ll get around to reading your self-summary eventually, but I just wanted to compliment you on your 10 adorable photos…<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>I hope you enjoy the part of my profile that will be relevant to having a conversation with me, then! Cool.<\/p>\n

Him: <\/strong>Aw, give up writing. Anyone as cute as you doesn’t need talent :0)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m beyond disgusted when someone expects me to react positively to the supposition that I “don’t need” THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF MY LIFE that brings me THE MOST PERSONAL FULFILLMENT OF ANYTHING I DO, or that my interest in pursuing it would be eclipsed by WHATEVER OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT MY LOOKS.<\/p>\n

EW.<\/p>\n

My response:<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>This is not an appropriate conversation. My self-summary makes it very clear that I am not a match with anyone who believes my photos are the most important aspect of my profile.<\/p>\n

Your suggestion that I should give up writing because I’m cute, no matter how much of a “joke” you meant it as, is dismissive and disgustingly offensive to me. Writing isn’t something I do until or unless someone succumbs to my cuteness and decides to take care of me. It’s not funny. It’s not flattering. And I recommend in the future–if you do not want to alienate and\/or offend more people you’re trying to hit on–that you read at least part of the profile BEFORE sending a message of any kind. You had fair warning about the kinds of interaction I’m here for and what sorts of comments I appreciate, and you would have easily been able to tell the way you approached me is not cool with me if you’d imagined what I SAY is probably more relevant than what I look like.<\/p>\n

So off I go to talk to people who won’t consider my talents and aspirations so much less important than my looks that I might as well not even bother.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

<–Previous Comic\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Next Comic–> <–Previous Comic\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Next Comic–> NO, THAT IS NOT AT ALL FLATTERING, YOU JERK. In case you’re wondering, yes, this is an ACTUAL MESSAGE I got (though the fellow’s name was not “Animal4U”). The full text: Him: I’ll get around to reading your self-summary eventually, but I just wanted to compliment you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=456"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":473,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions\/473"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soyouwrite.swankivy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}