Published April 30, 2019 by swankivy

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You are the expert in your own life. Sometimes people who are used to being the expert in their craft don’t know how to trust you about yours, and in their defense, they talk to a lot of people who don’t know what they’re doing. It’s still their responsibility to do their homework and not let their biases and assumptions get in the way of doing a good job.

This incident came up recently while I was on a book panel for asexual authors. When asked to discuss the publishing process, I told this story–about how an agent I queried assumed I made up asexuality and was trying to start some new thing, and how the sales would really depend on whether I could get my book to the necessary audience. The whole interaction was pretty yikes. When I found an agent who actually told me how much she thought the book would help people, I knew I’d chosen the right path for my publication. And unfortunately, facing people like this guy is sometimes just part of that journey.

2 comments on “Experts

  • Yikes. It sounds like the guy didn’t even bother to Google it. I’m not sure if you would feel comfortable doing this, but I would love for you to read and talk about what he said for your ‘letters to an asexual’ series.

    • Thanks for this suggestion. I might be willing to do this–it’s certainly a good example of a person making assumptions about marginalized voices from a mainstream media perspective! If I do, I’ll give you a shout-out for the idea if you like!

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